Karma Takes Too Long

It’s funny how things turn out either good, bad, or ugly and you can’t help but laugh. At this point I can’t take my life seriously because I feel like each day is a trivia question of “oh shoot! What did I do? Who did I do? And where the heck are my pants?” Piecing my slightly shameless life together on the regular, I can’t ever seem to learn that saving numbers and staying away from fuckboys should always be my answer.
Funny story though, I met an attractive guy who was new to the area for work. Did the typical exchanging of numbers and the random texting but unfortunately with conflicting schedules I really didn’t have the opportunity to meet up as soon as he liked. Not that I’m flakey or anything, but if you aren’t in my top 5 recruits then you’re getting limited playing time and still a 90% chance of being cut. He seemed a little frustrated that I wasn’t willing to negotiate my spare time and it was solely because he just wanted to get in my pants. Dude c’mon there is a password, handshake, and timer to get into these jeans even if they look painted on. A few months went by and of course I get a text from an unknown number (we all know I don’t save them), eventually figuring out it was him and learning that he still had that desire to see me, wearing nothing but a smile. Sidenote, during this time I hit a low point and was recently “friendzoned” so I was open to new possibilities but definitely not ones that land me in the bedroom. We bickered over my decision of just cuddling and forewarned him nothing else was going to happen and of course he says “delete my number” but then follows up with “are you coming over?”
Simply entertaining the situation, I showed up just to sleep and even made blueprints for a pillow wall between us. I must be an extremely weak-minded person when the sun goes down because once that bedroom door closed I was singing a different tune. After that night, I received all but one text that was an utterly rude question that didn’t deserve a response. Couple days later I send him a thumbs up and thanked him for the hit & run in the most sarcastic way and it must be every guys’ go-to phrase to respond with “umm you’re crazy”. Glad that we’re the most advanced species but still lack the capacity to expand our vocabulary or comprehend emotions of the opposite sex.
Fast forward a couple weeks while I’m at work, I meet a stunning client with a bubbly personality who is visiting from Long Island. You’d think we were life-time girlfriends chit-chatting about our dogs and how we celebrate their birthdays and obsess over them on social media while picking out jewelry together. We say our goodbyes after the transaction and I carry on with business throughout the day. I was pleasantly surprised to see her again only a few hours later but it was to return some merchandise. Continuing our conversation from before as I handled the transaction, she calls to a guy who is behind one of the large fixtures like he was hiding from something or someone. I keep my composure as I see the shocked look on his face as we make eye contact and he immediately darts for the door. So many thoughts raced through my mind but keeping it professional I ask her who she was visiting and she responds “oh to see him over the holiday weekend” didn’t want to dive in too deep and ask if she knew she was dating a cheater. I mean they could be friends but he was holding bags for her and I don’t think he is the type to be “just friends”. So many questions still unanswered and I bid her farewell as I contemplate my next move.
How is this my life? The extremely passively aggressive dude from 3 weeks ago has a girlfriend? The even better question is how on earth did I not just call him out in public? No exaggeration this woman was/is gorgeous and deserves to know that her man has some explaining to do. Now… I phoned a few friends to answer my multiple choice question:
How do I handle this situation?
a. It’s none of my business and karma will do its job
b. Forewarn him and tell him to fess up before I do
c. Write about it and causally send her the link
I think we all know the answer because I couldn’t wait for karma to get the job done and sure as hell will not give any man the opportunity to twist a story in his likeness. Let it be known that being an egotistical prick gets you no where in life and you should reevaluate yourself because those decisions don’t just affect you. It may not have been in my bedroom but you’re just another scumbug with his writing on a bedroom wall.


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